The Digital Ghost in the Suit
I am currently elbow-deep in a vat of neutralized sulfuric acid runoff when the haptic motor on my wrist starts its frantic, rhythmic twitching. In my line of work-hazmat disposal coordination-a twitching wrist usually means a sensor has tripped or a containment seal is failing. But this is different. It’s the distinct, staccato vibration of a calendar invite. I peel back the cuff of my Level B protective suit, risking a minor skin irritation from the residual fumes, just to see the digital ghost of my afternoon’s demise: ‘Pre-sync for the Weekly Alignment.’
It is scheduled for 47 minutes. There are 17 invited attendees. The agenda, which I suspect was written by an AI with a grudge against humanity, simply reads: ‘Discuss agenda for the alignment session on the 27th.’
“There is a specific kind of toxicity that doesn’t show up on a Geiger counter. It’s the slow, creeping sludge of the ‘optional’ meeting that you absolutely cannot decline. In the world of hazardous materials, we call it bioaccumulation-the way a toxin builds up in a system until the system can no longer function.”
I catch myself muttering to the containment unit, explaining to the heavy-duty polyethylene walls that if we spent half as much time actually aligning as we do syncing about the alignment, we might actually finish the cleanup before the next fiscal quarter. My supervisor… He didn’t say anything, but the look he gave me suggested I’ve finally spent too much time breathing filtered air.
The Stage of Social Validation
We pretend that these meetings are for collaboration, but let’s be honest: they are for social validation. They are a stage where we perform our roles. The Project Manager performs ‘organization.’ The VP performs ‘vision.’ The Lead Engineer performs ‘exhaustion.’
It’s a self-inflicted denial-of-service attack. We clog the bandwidth of our own brains with the noise of redundant communication. I’ve seen 47-minute sessions dedicated to deciding which font to use on a slide deck that 7 people will actually read. Meanwhile, the real work… happens in the 7-minute gaps between the ‘Pre-sync’ and the ‘Post-mortem.’
Cognitive Recovery Required (Minutes Lost per Interruption)
27 / 47 Mins
I once spent 27 minutes in a meeting listening to a director explain why we needed to be more ‘agile.’ If you have 7 meetings a day, you are essentially living in a state of permanent cognitive fragmentation.
The Cost of Presence
I realize the contradiction here… I even attended one last week solely because I wanted to see if the new Senior Architect actually had a collection of vintage gas masks in his background (he did, and one was an M17 model from the late 60s, which I found deeply impressive). I went for the social hit, the distraction…
Communication is organic.
Lizard brain screams for more meetings.
But the cost is becoming unsustainable. We are burning our most precious resource-human attention-on the altar of alignment. When the team grows to 107, we panic. We mistake ‘hearing voices’ for ‘making progress.’
The Moral Imperative for Filters
This is where the automation of the mundane becomes a moral imperative, not just a business one. We need systems that can handle the frontline noise…
When I look at the way tools like
Aissist manage the flow of information, resolving issues asynchronously and autonomously, I see more than just efficiency. I see a chance to reclaim the human brain for things that actually require a human brain.
The Agent doesn’t care about social validation.
Imagine a world where the ‘quick sync’ is handled by an agent that actually knows the data, understands the context, and doesn’t need to perform ‘importance’ to feel valued. It just clears the sludge so you can get back to the vat of sulfuric acid-or whatever your version of ‘real work’ happens to be.
Diluting Accountability
I remember a spill we had back in ‘17.’ It wasn’t a big one, maybe 77 gallons of a caustic base. The cleanup should have taken 7 hours. But because we had to have 7 different departments ‘align’ on the disposal protocol, the liquid sat there for 27 days.
Defined, contained risk.
Talking replaces acting.
Diluted waste is still waste, only bigger.
There is a psychological comfort in the meeting… If we all agree on a plan in a room with 17 people, then if the plan fails, no one person is to blame. We use meetings to dilute accountability until it’s thin enough to be harmless.
Joining the Ritual
I’m looking at the clock. It’s 2:07 PM. My ‘Pre-sync’ starts in 7 minutes. I could decline it… But I won’t. I’ll peel off my gloves, wash the smell of sulfur from my hands, and log in. I’ll sit there for 47 minutes, nodding at the right times, perhaps making a comment about ‘synergistic containment’ to prove I’m paying attention.
The Waiting Room of the Soul
I will be thinking about the 107 emails waiting for me, and the 7 genuine problems that actually need my brain. We are all coordinators now, coordinating the coordination of our own obsolescence.
Maybe the answer isn’t fewer meetings, but better filters. We need to treat our time like the hazardous material it is. We need a containment strategy.
The True Status Symbol
“The most important person in the room is the one who didn’t have to be there because their systems worked well enough without them.”
– A Whisper in the Hazmat Suit
Until we reach that point, I’ll be here, in the suit, breathing the filtered air, and wondering if anyone else notices the leak.